Statistics Help for Weak Students

Statistics is one of the most important aspects of applied math as its use is vital use in collection, classification, and interpretation of data in all industries and all spheres of life. Whether it is higher education or scientific research, research becomes rather fruitless without statistics, while making use of statistics makes the job a lot easier and simpler with its various principles and concepts. When so much hinges on statistics, it is only natural for schools and colleges to impart knowledge to students in this core math subject.

Though Statistics is a small part of math, the principles of statistics are used in many fields. It is a fact that statistics helps in most fields of learning. However, the most powerful use of Statistics seems to be in scientific research and governmental planning and analysis of data of programs implemented by governmental agencies. This calls for students to learn concepts of statistics at all levels whether at school or college. In fact, when students pay attention to their basic classes, they are likely to be able to better understand and implement the principles of Statistics than those who do not grasp the statistical concept on their basic stats classes. Statistics help is available from many sources for students, though it is the internet the source that is the most talked about these days. Online statistics help can be obtained cheaply, and it can certainly be cheaper than hire a tutor to provide real life, face-to-face tutoring. This is because there is no need to maintain an infrastructure when a web service provides tutoring via membership of some sort, through professional tutors. So whether you are a school student trying to understand your concepts or a college student unable to complete your statistics assignment, you will find that help with statistics is available through selected websites that offer online tutoring, 24x7, if you have a computer and a fast internet connection.

There are no free lunches in this world

It is always a prudent idea to get over with your statistics assignment through online statistics help rather than remaining completely stuck, being completely clueless about how to proceed. Of course nothing comes for free in this world and so you should not think that you will get help for free from the net. Getting a membership on a good tutoring service may not be too expensive, but certainly it is not free. Typically, the cost of being helped with solving a certain statistics problem may cost you anything from $1 to $10 depending upon the difficulty level of the task.

Getting the basic statistics concepts cleared in the mind of a student is the best way to face challenges that will come ahead in more advanced classes. If you are the parent of a kid who is being introduced to the field of statistics in school, you must keep an eye on his or her progress and advances in the subject. If you find that he or she is lacking a clear understanding of basic concepts of statistics, do not delay and arrange for a tutor to provide statistics help as soon as possible. It is not only about passing the class, it is about building the proper foundation for what comes next. This is a clever move, as by the time he or she reaches a deeper level in college, the difficulty will clearly up. When the fundamentals of statistics are clear in the student's mind, then the upcoming challenges become easier.

To cut short a long topic, there can be no divergence of opinions about the efficacy of online statistics help, though it can never take the that a teacher has in the learning process of a college student.

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Jazz Guitar Standards - Kenny Burrell Played Them With Class!

Kenny Burrell was born in Detroit, Michigan on July 31, 1931. His musical endeavors began in his home town of Detroit. He began to play the guitar at the age of twelve and was at first taught by his older brother Bill. Burrell originally wished to play the saxophone but the high expense of this instrument influenced him to start playing the guitar instead!

Kenny was lucky to have a musical background. His father was a banjoist, his mother a pianist, and both brothers were guitarists. Many of Burrell's friends at the Miller High School in Detroit were musicians including jazz pianist Tommy Flanagan and bassist Calvin Jackson. His music director at school was Louis Cabrara and he proved most influential in helping to form Kenny's musical career. It is intriguing to note that other ex-pupils of Miller High School were vibraphonist Milt Jackson and saxophonists Yusef Lateef and Pepper Adams.

Kenny Burrell's early heroes were jazz guitar players Charlie Christian and Oscar Moore. By 1948 he already was well-respected in his area for his guitar skill. He played in lots of groups in the Detroit area including a spell in 1951 with trumpeter Dizzy Gillespie at the Club Juana. In 1955 he led his own group, then left to replace jazz guitar player Herb Ellis in the Oscar Peterson Trio. Burrell stuck with Peterson for only 6 months and then left Detroit to settle in New York.

After showing up in New York in 1956 Kenny Burrell was first contracted by pianist Hampton Hawes. Burrell did spend some time playing with Broadway theater orchestras (including the popular programs "Bye Bye Birdie" and "How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying") but managed to keep a continuous professional career in jazz for almost eighteen years on the East Coast.

From 1952-53 Burrell studied the classical guitar with Joe Fava and now often includes this method of playing as part of his jazz concerts. He also decided to study music theory and composition and in 1955 acquired his Bachelor of Music degree from Wayne State University. In 1957 he performed with Benny Goodman's orchestra.

Kenny Burrell's interest in promoting the guitar is seen by his participation for a number of years with a jazz club in New York called "The Guitar". This venture, unfortunately now closed, was the brainchild of fellow Detroit musician Fred Hayes with whom he had actually studied at Wayne University.

In 1973 Burrell moved to Los Angeles where he ended up being actively involved with studio work. At the very same time he also preserved a rigorous schedule of jazz club, concert appearances, and teaching which continues to this day. Since 1978 he has taught the History of Jazz and American Music at UCLA during the winter season term.

While Kenny Burrell's most remarkable jazz recordings are from several decades earlier, he continues to be one of the most well-respected jazz guitar players on today's scene. He has won lots of jazz publication readers and critics polls and continues to record regularly. It is said that Duke Ellington let it be known that Kenny Burrell was his favorite jazz guitar player!

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Golden Tips On How To Promote Your Music Offline

Although, many famous musicians find their first success online, research studies have shown that even if you receive millions of views online, you won't get the reception you want on the internet. For you to get the reception that you want, you have to promote your music offline. Curious of how you can do it? Here are tips on how to go about it:

Open Mics

Open mics are a great opportunity for you to perform before a large crowd of people. The events also give you an opportunity to hone your live performance skills. Although, you won't be paid to do the event, you will be able to let the people listen to your music. You will also have an opportunity of meeting talent scouts who might take your career to the next level.

CD Samplers

You should burn four or five of your best tracks in a blank CD and then give them away during your gigs. The main advantage of giving away blank CDs is that you easily build your fan base. To be on the safe side always ensure that you have the CDs with you every time that you are going to a gig.

Text Messages

Due to the many messages that people receive on social media, they are more likely to ignore the online message. Research studies have shown that many people will read text messages; therefore, you should take advantage of this. If you have an upcoming gig, you should send text messages to your friends and remind them where you will be performing. You should also encourage your friends to let their friends know about it.

Open For Big Artists

What a better way to make yourself known than at big events? The cool thing with performing at large events is that you easily reach a lot of people. You also get an opportunity of meeting the bigwigs in the industry who might push you to stardom.

To get an opportunity of performing at the big events you only need to approach the event organizers and ask them to allow you to curtain raise. For obvious reasons you shouldn't expect to be paid.

Befriend Industry Influencers

Is there a DJ, radio host, or a local blogger that you can easily reach? You should try to befriend him/her and request him/her to play your music.

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Money, Money, Everywhere

No matter how little money you have, you might be surprised to discover that you have some in places you would never think to look.

How many times have you gone to the store and put the change into your pocket or pocketbook, and forgotten that it was there? Over the years I have heard numerous stories like that.

One woman was always finding bills and coins in the oddest places. When I asked her why she didn't remember having put them there she told me that sometimes she needed to do something as soon as she got home and then hung up her coat without checking the pockets or changed pocketbooks without transferring everything from one to the other.

I would have thought that a person who was always finding a few dollars here and there would think to look for money when she needed it most. Yet this woman never did. Each time she looked in a pocketbook or wallet, she always found some.

If I had ever had the experience, even once, of finding money in my coat pocket, a purse, or a wallet, those are the first places I would look when I didn't have enough money to buy some food.

But even more than that, there are many people who open up small bank accounts for emergency money and then forget all about it. I was one of those people although I didn't really forget about it.

Whenever I was short of cash, I would think about that account that was holding my fifty dollars and ask myself if this was really an emergency. After assuring myself that it was not a life or death emergency, I would decide to leave it in the bank.

One day, many years later, I received a letter from my bank telling me that they were going to be charging me a monthly fee for storing my money. I quickly got into my car and headed over to the bank.

When I got up to the teller I thanked her for sending me the letter and told her that it reminded me that I had this account and now I would close it out. She was flabbergasted and started to whine, "It wasn't meant for you to withdraw your money, just to deposit more."

She didn't see me smiling as I left the bank, clutching my fifty dollars in my hot little hands.

Connie H. Deutsch is an internationally known business consultant and personal advisor who has a keen understanding of human nature and is a natural problem-solver.

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Going, Going, Gone: Why Women Are Leaving Technology (It's All About the Culture)

What's going on?

According to an article published in the LA Times in February, computing jobs will increase to 1.4 million by 2020, yet currently men outnumber women in the technical sector by 4:1. In 2008, Harvard Business Review conducted a study (which it updated in 2014) that found as many as 50% of women working in engineering and technology will leave over time citing a hostile work environment. In 2014, Fortune magazine interviewed 716 women who left the technology industry. 87.3% of this group indicated that they have no plans to return to the technology field. Only 3% said they would definitely return. In 2014, NPR cited that 40% of women with engineering degrees leave the profession or never enter the field. Any time there is a talent drain of this magnitude, it is time to understand, and do something about it.

The going, going, gone culture

Women are not leaving because the work is too hard or too demanding. Women are leaving the technology industry because of the culture - a culture they describe as hostile and isolating. Some of the behavior is overt and some is subtle. What does a Going, Going, Gone culture look like? Women describe it as a culture of chronic disrespect that is displayed through communication and behavior. It is a culture where they do not feel seen, respected or heard.

Destructive communication styles are at times inadvertently rewarded within a company culture and given descriptors such as strong, blunt or influential. While these poor communication styles affect both genders, women leave in higher numbers because in addition to destructive communication, they are frequently completely left out of the conversation. The end result is that these styles are damaging to employees' well-being and the cost becomes too high to stay..

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

~Maya Angelou

Why Does IT Matter?

A workplace thrives when people feel valued and there is an atmosphere of collaboration, respect and diverse thought. Companies excel when they are eliciting the best contributions from their entire talent pool. When women are underrepresented in the highly competitive world of technology, ultimately the consumer suffers and so does the company's bottom line. In addition to approaching problem solving differently than men, women bring different communication, relational and leadership styles to the workplace. It is important to include these female perspectives not only for the optimal health of the organization, but for the critical collaborations with other companies that include the voice of women. Women are leaders and decision makers and keenly aware of organizations and industries that are falling behind in the support and advancement of women. It makes good business sense to have a strategy to address this escalating problem of talent flight.

What can be done?

It starts at the top. Company leadership needs to foster a supportive environment wherein all employees feel respected, and this begins with communication. Relationships are built one conversation at a time. In each exchange, a foundation of trust is increasingly established or eroded. A person feels validated or disrespected. What people say and how they say it really does matter. Technical professionals are motivated to work at a level consistent with their perception of self-competence. If they feel de-valued, criticized or ignored, their motivation wanes, they cease to express their valuable ideas, and they eventually leave.

Creating a shift in the culture

A culture can only change through an awareness that it needs to change. This process begins with inquiry. Do language or behaviors exist within your organization that may be subtly telling women they don't belong? If you aren't sure, it's time to ask. Once aware of the issues, an intention to change with clearly defined desired outcomes can be set and a plan put in place.

The role of dialogue

A significant piece in changing a culture is changing the way people communicate with each other. Creating a space where empowered dialogue can take place is the first step. What does empowered dialogue look like?

· There is a free-flowing exchange of ideas.

· Eye contact is maintained.

· Participants seek to understand each other rather than jockey to be heard.

· Each contributor is acknowledged and not dismissed.

· Open-ended questions which invite further discovery and exploration fuel the conversation.

· Brainstorming is encouraged.

· Criticism, one-upmanship and judgement are absent.

What does empowered dialogue feel like?

It feels safe. Whether in personal or professional relationships, people need to feel safe and free of censure in order to be able to freely express their ideas and their creativity. Creativity is the cornerstone of innovation. When creativity flows, ideas build upon each other in an inspired process. In creating safe environments in which empowered dialogue is possible, companies nurture and encourage innovators of both genders to contribute to their fullest potential. These companies retain their competitive edge.

Establishing expectations for communication

Creating an environment in which both genders feel respected and heard begins with setting expectations - expectations for communication and group engagement. This includes defining the manner in which conflict and disagreement will be managed. These expectations may be considered a set of values, or rules of engagement which the employees help define and agree to uphold. They may be anything that works for the group. For example, when meeting to discuss a new idea or brainstorm about how best to handle a client issue, the group may agree that all ideas need to remain on the table until each has been fully listened to and discussed. Perhaps only open-ended questions are allowed. Engaging employees to help define these expectations empowers them to create a culture that enables both genders to contribute to their maximum potential.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9005663

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How to Achieve Better Results Promoting Teamwork in the Workplace

Apart from creating a friendly environment, promoting collaboration has big benefits in the application development process. When IT professionals work collectively, they can bounce ideas off one another and catch more bugs than if they were working alone. Also, the time-to-market period may be reduced as teamwork allows employees to apply the right skills to difficulties.

Teamwork is the ideal vehicle to transfer knowledge with others. When developers collaborate, they observe different work styles and pick up tips and tricks of the trade. If you have more people on your team who know how to do something well, you will have more built-in redundancies which helps ensure projects are completed correctly and on time.

Here are three ways to strengthen teamwork in a workplace:

1. Co-locate Employees: There are many advantages of remote teamwork. Telecommuting is a recruiting tool and inexpensive perk for managers. It allows a team to grow without needing to add physical space. Also, many programmers find it easier to focus on tasks when away from a noisy office.

But sometimes working from home also has its difficulties. A big one is that teamwork suffers. It is difficult to have impromptu meetings and to collaborate on last-minute fixes when employees are not on-site. To maximize teamwork and reap all its benefits, always try to group developers together in the same space by project.

However, It's not enough to put desks together. The work area needs to be designed to support collaboration. Set up easel pads and whiteboards in the room for ideation and sketches. Bring comfortable and moveable seating so that teams aren't constrained by fixed furniture. Also, the space needs to be private enough so that your team can strategize without disturbing others.

2. Buddy Up: Pair programming is a great tool for increasing teamwork in the workplace. Using this method, developers partner to tackle a project. Usually, one person says what should be done while the other does the actual coding. Then, they change their roles. With this, one programmer to check the other's work.

Another method is to pair developers with quality analysts(QA). In many development environments, programmers do their work and toss it over the fence to QA staff. Quality Analysts pros put the code through a variety of tests that programmers have little insight, and then mark it as passed or failed in an impersonal tracking system. This method can develop problems like developers may not know the tests their codes need to pass, they become frustrated communicating through a tracking system instead of face to face, etc.

To solve these issues, bring the two groups together during testing. This will allow developers to provide immediate feedback, and resolve bugs or changes on the spot instead of having to wait hours or days to address problems.

3. Seek collaborative specifications: If your business analysts develop their specifications without input from developers, it creates an order taker mentality. This can affect developer's morale, and can hinder true collaboration. A better method is to include members of the development team during the specification process.

The best method to increase your IT team's productivity and accuracy is to make teamwork in the workplace a department-wide priority. Although it may take some shaking up of the status quo to make it happen, but the end results are likely to be well worth the time and effort.

AlturaCS is a leading provider of communication-enabled solutions and Business Collaboration Network services provider to the enterprises. It is one of the largest communications solutions and services organizations in North America. We are specialized in delivering business impact to our customers through higher efficiency, lower cost and gerater revenue.

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Top 10 Largest Banks in The World

In total assets, the largest banks all over the world start from three billion dollars as of number one in the list, and end with two billions and a half. Chinese banks take a big bite of the world finance, Japan and America follows next. Let us have a look at the largest banks in the world as estimated by relbanks.

• 10 Barclays PLC

Barclays is one of the big names in Britain. It was founded in London in the beginning of the 17th century. Still, the bank has branched all over the world. Nearly there is no one type of transactions Barclays are not working in from investment to wholesale and retail.

• 9 Credit Agricole

The bank's headquarter is located in France and was founded in 1885. Credit Agricole service is friendly as they have founded the Point Passerelle in which customers suffering from any problem like threatened with getting their accounts suspended can find solutions and a helping hand.

• 8 Bank of China

Founded in 1912 in the Chinese capital Beijing, the Bank of China has different branches around the world.

• 7 Agricultural Bank of China

Built in 1951 in Beijing, the bank branched out in Japan, U.S, Australia, German, Korea and Singapore. It has around hundred million customers across these branches. It has an advanced rank among the top ten in the world, in number of transactions. The bank witnessed a number of bad circumstances that affected its presence, however it continued to be.

• 6 JPMorgan Chase & Co

Known as Chase, JPMorgan Chase is a public bank that was founded in 2000 in the United States of America. Chase is the largest bank in the States. Its total assets are estimated to be around above $2 trillion.

• 5 MUFG

The Mitsubishi UF J Financial Group is based in the Japanese headquarter, Tokyo. It was founded in 2005 and has an average of $2.5 trillion in assets. Although it was founded only 20 years ago, it was able to precede other banks in number of transactions. As usual, this big bank merged with other important bank in Japan; Bank of Tokyo-Mitsubishi and. Such merging always increases the bank's scope and power and adds to its security.

• 4 BNP Paribas

Founded in France in 1848, BNP Paribas had enough time to spread its branches worldwide. Like Barclays, Paribas is stretching a hand in every transactional sector like retail, investment and wholesale.

• 3 China Construction Bank

Founded in Beijing in 1954, is one of the four biggest banks in China as a whole. In addition to the various branches around the world, the Bank of America staked around $3 billion in 2005 and holds above %10 of its shares as well. However it decided that it would sell half of those shares.

• 2 HSBC

The world known bank HSBC is mainly British with its headquarter in London, the bank was founded in 1865. The bank's total assets are above $2.6 trillion and big revenue of $68 billion. This is mainly because of its wide scope that covers many countries in America, Asia, Africa, and Europe.

• 1 ICBC

Founded in 1984, the Industrial & Commercial Bank of China is the major bank in the country. Take into consideration the amount of transactions made with China, now all this money comes here! The ICBC as a company ranked first in Forbes list of biggest companies in the year 2000. Unlike the widespread of HSBC branches all over the world, ICBC is doing it timidly. Only four of its banks are built in the Middle East in Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Doha, and Kuwait.

Is your company a home for one of those banks above? It could be a yes if we speak about multinational banks. Let me hear from you in the comments' section below!

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The Role of Science - A Blessing Or a Curse

AN EXPLOSION OF TECHNOLOGY

In Albania, it is not unusual to see an old person riding a donkey while talking on a cell phone. In India, a beggar might pause in his solicitations to make or take a call on his cell phone. O yes, from cell phone to computers to television, technology has found its way into every corner of the world, even crossing the divide between rich and poor and has become a part of life for many.

The pervasiveness of technology is perhaps most apparent in the proliferation of cell phones, many of which are no longer cell phones. Advanced models enables users to surf the internet, send and receive e-mails and text massages, watch TV, listen to music, take photos, and navigate by the Global Positioning System(GPS).

According to a report in the Washington Post newspaper, a multimedia smartphone now has a more processing power than did the North American Air Defense Command in 1965. Furthermore, "there is now one cellphone for every two humans on Earth", and at least 30 nations have more witnessing, "the faster global diffusion of any technology in human history", says the paper.

Worldwide, almost 60 percent of users live in developing lands, making the cell phone the first high-tech communication devices to have majority of users in those lands.

DEMERITS OF TECHNOLOGY

Communications revolution has its downside. Cell phones, papers, and laptop computers makes people accessible almost anytime, anywhere, causing some users to feel caught in an electronic we. At the other extreme are technology addicts, who have a compulsion to be connected in order to know what is going on.

ADDICTION, DISTRACTION AND INTERRUPTION

These are perhaps the most recognized problems associated with popular communications and media technology. But the same devices also have much power for good. How, then, can you use them in a balanced, wise and considerate way? The next subheadings addresses these questions.

TECHNOLOGY: A BLESSING OR A CURSE

SCENARIO: A driver loses control of his car and hits a utility pole, seriously injuring a passenger. Immediately, he uses his cell phone to call for help. But, why did he lose control? He momentarily took his eyes off the road to answer a call.

As this example illustrates, the products of modern technology can be either a blessing or a curse. The choice depends on us. Few people, although would prefer to go back to the comparatively crude products of yesteryears. Computers, for example, spare us tedious tasks, enable us to buy and bank conveniently online, and help us keep in touch with others by e-mail, voice mail, and video link.

Not too long ago, family members which would go to their various ways in the morning and not speaks to one another again until evening. But now, 70% of couples in which both partners have cell phones contact each other by the minutes to just say hello, 64% contact each other to coordinate schedules, and 42$ of parents contact their children daily using a cell phone, says a reporter in USA today.

Do Not Let an Asset Become a Liability.

Can the excessive and improper use of technology become harmful mentally and physically? Let us consider the example of two newlyweds in one Western land. According to a news report, they "were on the phone constantly in their car, at the gym, even calling each other from different rooms inside their own house". They could not cope with their phones. They have the "classic signs of addiction", noted Dr. Harris Stratyner, a mental-health specialist. "It's like they are having a relationship through an object".

The above example may seem extreme, but it reflects a worrisome trend. For many people, the thought of being out of contact for even an hour is unbearable. "We always need to check out e-mails, we always need to be on the internet, we always need to be on instant messaging with our friends", said one woman in her 20's.

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Super Size Your Computer's Clipboard

If you're still using the standard clipboard that comes with your computer, you're missing out big time! I haven't used that anemic version of a clipboard in many years and I can't imagine going back.

Wouldn't you like to be able to copy multiple items - including rich items like images - and paste them somewhere? How about saving a set of snippets in a file for later? Or having all your copied bits available in your clipboard after you reboot your system?

A clipboard manager lets you do all this and more. Some managers will let you paste your snippets in a series using hotkeys.

I use a clipboard manager all day, every day. For example, when I generate my ezine, I'll cut and paste the title, article body, and blog post URL from WordPress into Aweber. By being able to copy them all at the same time from WordPress and them paste them all at once in Aweber, it saves me from having to jump back and forth from one browser window to the other.

Other uses include:

• Storing and pasting boiler plate text
• Maintaining standardized answers for common support questions
• Storing common code snippets
• Noting thoughts
• Remembering text
• Filling in on-line forms
• Organizing information
• Notes
• Storing often used text
• Manage "to do" lists
• Storing messages to refer back to (blogging, e-mail)
• Drafting messages or emails

Clipboard Magic

The manager I use is Clipboard Magic, a lightweight, free clipboard manager and archiving utility for Windows. It can save anything from a single character to pages of text and save as many snippets as you wish. You can edit snippets, too.

I keep a small Clipboard Magic window open on my desktop, over at the side. It lets me see what I've saved there and lets me select the item I wish to paste. I can remove duplicates as well as save any set of snippets to a file to pull up and use later. I can even manually add text snippets rather than copying to get them into the list.

Clippy Portable

Another free Windows clipboard manager is Clippy Portable. Its list of items copied pops up from the system tray in a semi-transparent window.

Clippy Portable is not so lightweight, but has some neat options, like saving images, taking screenshots, and doing a quick Google search of any text in its clipboard. Also, the "portable" part of its name means you can copy it on any USB flash drive or other devices, and take it with you whenever you need to view the clipboard content on the fly. However, I've seen some reports of Clippy being buggy which is why I don't use it. If you try it, let me know how you like it.

Mac Clipboard Managers

I don't use a Mac, so I don't know a lot about the options available, but I did a little research and found these fairly recent roundups of clipboard utilities on a Mac:

Copy, Paste, Repeat: Finding the best clipboard manager for Mac

Clipboard Managers

If you spend a good amount of time on your computer, it will definitely enhance your productivity to start using a clipboard manager. Once you do, you'll never go back!

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Sexual Abuse Should Not Be Alleged Lightly

Before accusing an ex of sexually molesting a child, you should consider several factors. If you have a child with someone, you should have some idea of who they are, and what they are capable of doing. A parent who has never behaved inappropriately towards your child while you were together isn't likely to become a molester when you are apart. This doesn't mean you shouldn't investigate your concerns. When your child has visitation with your ex, he or she isn't the only person with whom your child has contact. Friends and other family members may also have access to your child, and it is possible that one of them could have done something that is inappropriate. It is also possible that an adult assisting the child with toileting, dressing or bathing could have had physical contact with the child that would have been improper in other situations.

Among the things you should explore is what the child said that alerted you to the possibility of abuse. Where was she touched and by whom is the most important factor in making your determination. Find out who has contact with the child when she is visiting her other parent. Tell the other parent what the child said that made you think there might be a problem. It is very likely that the other parent will be as interested in getting to the bottom of the situation as you are. If he or she is defensive or uncommunicative, you may have to seek professional intervention to find out what actually happened.
Even if your relationship with your ex is less than friendly, it is the obligation of both of you as parents to protect your child from those who could cause her harm.

When you approach the child's other parent, be courteous and non-accusatory. Pose your concerns as a problem you need to work on resolving together, not just a convenient opportunity to prove that the other parent is a pervert or evil doer.

Finally, and this is very important, you should look in your own back yard. Are you living with someone new? Are there step children in either home who are emotionally disturbed or violent? Do you have friends and relatives who should be considered? Does your child attend a day care center, church group or sports training with strangers? He or she may lay the blame at the other parent's feet out of fear of repercussions from the true perpetrator. In addition, leading questions such as "did your daddy do this?" could elicit damning answers from a confused child who isn't sure what happened, who did it, or even whether the behavior in question is abnormal.

The police and welfare departments will be involved if sexual molestation has actually occurred. Your family could end up in the system for years, even if nothing inappropriate happened. Your child is entitled to your protection, but he is also entitled to your sound judgment. That is why it is important for you to ferret out the truth when your child may have been sexually abused.

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Am I Being Abused?

A joyful heart makes a cheerful face, but when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken. Proverbs 15:13

I know how hard it is to be in that in-between place, wondering whether you are simply going through a difficult season in your relationship or whether the relationship is truly abusive. If this is where you find yourself, the assessment I have provided below is a good place to start.

Every relationship has an air, a dynamic that engenders an array of thoughts and feelings reflective of it, whether peace, contentment and safety, or fear, confusion and chaos. If you are living in an abusive relationship, you have probably worked hard to convince yourself that the thoughts and feelings that trouble you are unique to your situation or are perhaps over exaggerated when, in fact, those natural responses may be telling you that you are sharing your home with an abuser.

This quick personal evaluation should enable you to more closely assess the kinds of thoughts and feelings that characterize your lifestyle and your relationship.

Just respond mentally yes or no. Perhaps a pattern will emerge.

This is not a scientific assessment. It is simply intended to assist potential abuse victims in identifying whether their own thoughts and feelings are consistent with those that many abuse victims share.

• Sometimes I feel like my spouse has become a stranger to me.
• When my husband is around, I feel unsettled or fearful.
• When my husband is around, I feel like I need to behave differently.
• Sometimes I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around him.
• I don't laugh like I used to.
• My husband comes from an abusive or neglectful background.
• I came from an abusive or neglectful background.
• I have consistently struggled with my own self-esteem.
• When I come home or when he comes home, I try to quickly sense what kind of mood he is in.
• I have nightmares where things are out of control, or where I am running away from something.
• I feel like my husband doesn't like me.
• I feel like I am not allowed to need anything from him.
• I feel like I have to pretend I am not hurting.
• There are times my spouse is overly harsh with the children.
• He speaks badly of me in front of the children and encourages them to disrespect me.
• I don't trust my own judgment.
• I consistently feel depressed.
• I feel like my husband's needs and desires always come first.
• My husband sometimes gives me the silent treatment.
• I am afraid to talk to my husband.
• I feel like I have to constantly prove myself.
• I sometimes sense that he's hiding something.
• I have caught him lying to me.
• I feel like I don't really matter.
• I feel like I'm never good enough.
• I don't feel safe.
• I feel lonely.
• I feel lost.
• I feel insecure.
• I feel confused.
• I feel like I have lost my identity.
• I feel like I have no value.
• I feel like he is trying to keep me away from my friends and/or family.
• I feel like I don't know how to get close to him.
• I feel like he does things to intentionally hurt me or put me down.
• He gets angry or impatient with me over little things.
• I always feel like I need to try harder.
• I mentally rehearse the things I want to say to him.
• He is critical of the way I do things.
• Sometimes I feel like most of our problems are my fault.
• I feel like I need to keep issues affecting our relationship a secret.
• I feel like I need to protect his image and reputation.
• It feels like he must always "win."
• Other people see him differently than I do.
• If something goes wrong in his life or someone does not like him, it is almost always someone else's fault.
• He treats me badly.
• He puts down my friends and/or family.
• He is an expert on everything.
• He says things that are hurtful.
• If I tell him he hurt my feelings, he tells me I'm being overly sensitive.
• I'm not allowed to need anything.
• He likes to be in control.
• There are times I don't want to go home.
• If I question something he does, he accuses me of being bossy, nosy or paranoid.
• I feel guilty that I'm unhappy.

If you answered 'yes' to the majority of the statements, you may be in an abusive relationship. Certainly, there are many issues that color and define a marriage; however, if these feelings and responses are part and parcel of your relationship, it may be time to dig a little deeper and begin to establish a network of emotional support - if you do not already have one.

Begin your journey now, so you can pursue healing and discover the freedom and joy that is possible at the other end. There are some burdens in life that are put upon us without our permission. Some unfair burdens you can refuse, and you must if you are to reclaim your value, your dignity, your life, and the health, safety and security of any children.

It is also important to acknowledge that, over time, you may experience any of a variety of stress-related illnesses associated with your body's struggle to cope. Such physical issues may include: digestive problems, fibromyalgia, headaches, muscle pain, high blood pressure, or a stiff neck.

Emotionally, you may find yourself struggling with depression, anxiety, panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive tendencies, eating disorders, insomnia, nightmares, suicidal thoughts or other related problems. Of course, seeing a physician or mental health professional may enable you to obtain medication or emotional support; however, doing so may only treat the symptom of the problem without addressing the cause, which may be directly attributable to the stress under which you are living. Your children may be subject to similar issues.

If, using this brief assessment, you see yourself, then it may be time to make a change, to accept the hard truth and begin your journey toward recovery, which will have to begin with you.

Don't wait. You can reclaim your life, firm in the knowledge that you don't deserve to be abused, and you don't have to live this way.

* Portions excerpted from the book, "Why Is He So Mean to Me?"

Cindy is a survivor of a 20-year marriage to a verbal and emotional abuser. She is the author of four books, including "Why is He So Mean to Me?" and "God Is My Witness: Making a Case for Biblical Divorce" and the owner of a web-based ministry to women in abusive relationships.

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